Iphoto seems to not be working despite technological help from Apple so I need to contact them again so that I can download whatever images are stored on the camera.
"Entre les deux" ... that's me at the moment ... trying step by step to do what needs to be done in home ownership .. instead of being overwhelmed by the daily minutiae of life's unexpected little surprises!
One would have thought that with all my practice of searching for a house to buy I would have spotted the house renovation requirements ... but No ... and oH .. there is so much to do and to comprehend with practical aspects and restrictions that I seem to have lost the urge to write in the manner that is being produced here right at this moment in time.
I am sure it will return. Of course, I do it for me and not for anyone out there in the beautiful world of bloggers, BUT it has been nice to know that some people have actually read and even been interested in this potentially " normal" human being inside my shell.
I can be STILL .. ACTIVE .. REFLECTIVE .. LAZY .. TIRED .. STRUGGLING .. ANIMATED .. ENTHUSIASTIC .. LACKING POSITIVITY .. EMBARASSED .. ASHAMED .. OVERJOYED ..OVERWHELMED .. SAD .. HAPPY .. and so many other conditions of JUST BEING that appear to fluctuate seemingly incessantly .. coming and going... as I wait for each 'pas a pas' and 'step by step' to tell me what to do. And increasingly I know of people who are unwell and I think that whatever happens I have my health ..and it is evident that life should be celebrated and not reduced to negativity, inner injury and tears.
With regard to the house .. my very own house .. it feels like a kind of secret .. I have had a range of unexpected feelings - trepidation, fear, anxiety, excitement, energy, enthusiasm, a kind of shame and embarassment about how much rubbish has been required to reach the décheterrie (the recycling yard), and also stillness and calm, as I try to understand how the house wants to be looked after. I am feeling quite content there .. as I listen to the silence and the sounds within and without the stone walls and imagine times gone before and times to come.
I am enjoying 'le chaleur' et 'l'ombre' - at least 29 degrees celsius today, which I really cannot get enough of because it makes me feel HUMAN and NORMAL I watch the harvest coming in and see the bare, exposed fields with the crows or rooks cawing cavernously, making me nervous about Winter. BUT to think positively Sweetpea, the Autumn is yet to come and she who loves the colours, smells, mists and moistiness, she enjoys October.
On a practical note I am feeling more optimistic .... and I have to plan ... I have a lot to plan even when planning makes no difference and I have much to do.
So that is where the energy goes... I will return maybe on a different path soon.