All about 60, giving and receiving a birthday party

One week ago today there were 56 people sitting in the garden area at the front of our home underneath two Barnums, on account of the falling rain and driving wind outside.

In the French language, a ‘Barnum’ is a marquee. I heard the word and then spelling it in my head, I realised that the name originates from the circus. My grandmother ran away from her circus family! PT Barnum was an American showman from the 18^th and 19^th century. These Barnums were plastic, not the two-masted canvas tents including the sight of sawdust, buffoonery of clowns. There were no trapeze artistes, smell of caged lions, ballerinas on horseback, sound of a thrilling circus orchestra, nor the comic laughter of the audience!

Our guests mingled in the confined area, meeting and greeting others, laughing, smiling and choosing a place to sit, whilst I calmly, so I thought, tried to prepare the different parts of the menu ready for construction and serving. All the time I was welcoming new arrivals and being showered with gifts. Meanwhile, Captain Sensible was ensuring that everyone had a drink in hand. Friends were helping in so many different ways. It was such a happy occasion.

Our timetable was delayed on account of the forecast being accurate. We had hoped that the sunny day of 11th July could be repeated but weather cannot be ordered and besides which, the plants needed to be watered. The rain and wind won the day. I was a poor host and had not arranged my ‘self’ to be free. Captain Sensible thought it was my control streak and of course to some extent this was true. We had asked for help but we had not involved anyone beforehand with the planning. I was modest and unprepared for the arrival of birthday gifts and another table had to be quickly prepared. Some packages had no gift tags, and consequently later I was not entirely sure who they were from!!! I have been thoroughly spoilt and was completely overwhelmed with the French generosity, kindness and apparent liking of me. This came somewhat as a surprise because in my working life there were few people fond of me. You can't be liked, yet alone loved, in Management!

How did the idea for a party suggest itself?

For a year I had been indicating that I would prefer to be a long way away from any surprise 60^th birthday parties, preferably in another warm country, but it didn't work out like that, as we found ourselves committed to helping friends in the weeks before my birthday. Then it was discovered that one of these friends wanted to organise a surprise party at her own home - Captain Sensible had the foresight to warn me. HELP! He then had the notion that IF WE organised the event it would force us into having the kind of gathering that for some months/years we had intended to give for the people of our hameau. The ideas grew!!! We would invite the villagers, as well as the Dancing Group and of course the people we voluntarily teach English to, and our English friends and acquaintances. Like Topsy the numbers expanded! We were approaching over 100 including the partners and children of those we wished to invite. My birthday was on a Saturday and that weekend is a highlight in the French calendar as it is always just before the Fête Nationale for Bastille day and it is also a popular date for weddings, baptisms, brocantes and medieval fêtes. Sadly, some friends who I especially wanted to invite could not come, but it made our numbers more manageable and the event more affordable.

We wanted to provide a sit-down menu, not a buffet. We started to plan and so delivered the invitations. Our anxiety and panic levels increased! How were we going to cater for so many when our refrigerator, freezer and 'cave' storage facilities were minimal? How were we going to provide food and drinks when we did not wish to ask anyone to bring anything? How were we going to have a set menu – and not an 'à la carte menu' here?

I started to make bread in large quantities in my antique English pottery bread bowl. It was enormous fun. I made about 14 loaves weighing 500g of uncooked dough. More than we required. At about the same time, I bought pork on promotion and made terrines for the starter. On the first day of a Leclerc promotion I purchased 80 salmon slices and kept them frozen in Huguette's freezer. Unbeknown to me each slice could have been halved but on the day we served the generous sized portions for the main course. I bought premium apricots in three boxes at a discounted cost. We bought wine from the recommended 'cave' and beer from the supermarket when it was on offer.

People kept insisting they should bring food and eventually we acquiesced suggesting that people bring savoury or sweet tarts for the evening. This meant we would not worry about having insufficient food. Ha … in this house? You must be joking!!!! However, this also meant that I could not make a pastry dessert when I had already made a huge quantity of shortcrust pastry for tarts and put it in the freezer. The pastry would keep. Eventually, I decided that a compôte is refreshing after any meal. It could be made the day before, covered and chilled on ice to be kept in the bath. This was also where we kept the wines that we had purchased from the cave. It is fragile and will not keep in high temperatures unless it is chilled. We made ice and covered the wine flagons and bowls of apricot compôte with a silver insulation foil blanket that we use for camping. It worked a treat and it was all hygienic!

Before the day Captain Sensible used the event as an incentive to complete the tiling and tuffeau on the porch and various other jobs. There are still a few more things to titivate but it now looks so wonderful. He was in charge of mowing the lawn, strimming the garden, making everything neat and tidy, even erecting a 30m wind shield in the plum tree area. We kept saying we will be fine unless it rains or is too hot!! He was in charge of the logistics and mathematics for how many tables and chairs we needed as well as helping me with catering requirements, of which we were over-bought in wines, cheeses, bread and lettuce!! Catering is a fine art!   Our menu for Village de Vaux Fête Conviviale:

Aperitifs

Kir faire du Crême de Framboise servi avec les petits toasts d’Elizabeth

Ils sont 4 varietiés:

1. Petit pois,du menthe et de l’ail,

2. Aubergines et crevettes

3. Tomates

4. Paté du Porc et Cornichons

Entrée

Terrine du Porc, Pistache et Pruneaux servi avec une salade de tomates jaunes et rouges varies et roquette

Plat

Saumon Grillé marinade avec du citron verte,l’huile d’olives, sauce de soja, gingembre, servi avec une salade de soja, poivrons rouges, concombre, basilica

Fromage

Fromage de Chevre et de Coulommiers avec laitue

Dessert

Compôte d’abricots avec les fleurs du lavande

Servi avec du crème légére.

Café ou du thé

Servi avec les gateau d’anniversaire fait a main par Sweetpea

All the while Roger, Garth’s father played jazz piano. It was such a wonderful ambience and I have been eternally grateful to him. He used to play with a band but hasn’t played piano for social entertainment for a long time and no one told me that he only drank tonic water, but evidently he thoroughly enjoyed himself. I know what it is like to play for several hours when everyone is eating. It is hard work, even if one enjoys playing.

I sat at the top table on the porch and I surveyed the scene before I ate each part of the meal. I was the last to sit down and eat. I wasn’t really hungry. But as I looked at everyone in the Barnum I thought how wonderful it was. I was calm and everyone was eating, drinking, discussing, listening. There was such a magnificent ‘bon homie’ everywhere. I listened to the music. I appreciated. I tried to converse in French with Marilyne, Aurore, Sandrine et Valérie, and Isabelle my immediate table companions. It was a moment to relish.

I had made my own birthday cake and arranged the 60 candles in their holders in a kind of Sweetpea signature swirl. Someone, recognizing the non-spoken dialogue made me sit down and wait for the cake to be brought out with candles alight! I expressed surprise though I was also clearly stunned and very impressed by my cake alight!

I had to blow them out and wish ‘for a rabbit’ as once upon a time Alexander had said. I wished for more than rabbits but not for me.

I then cut the cake, just as I imagined it would have been like at a wedding. Someone came with serviettes, the portions were divided and served to the guests.

My duty done, I could now relax. Someone else could clear up! But … oh … here I was in the spotlight again with all those presents. Of course they must be opened in front of everyone, especially the ladies, who wanted to see what was inside the coloured papers. I was overwhelmed. I could not believe my eyes. I could not believe the generosity and kindness of the French men and women. They say, “C’est normale” and of course to them it is, but if this is compared to UK then it is far from normal. IT IS VERY SPECIAL.

I love France and it’s culture. I love the lessons I have learned. I love some of the exceptional characters. The Swiss-Parisienne Huguette, helper of our integration, the petit Reine, the shy Muguette, the enthusiastic Martine, the theatrical vibrant, happy Chantal, notre voisin Jean-Louis un expert de champignons et sa soeur de Marseille, the very funny, strong, assertive, free, truly feminine women of the English group (Sandrine, Marilyne, Aurore, Valerie, Pierette, Francoise, Pascale, Isabel) , the talented famille de Laurie, the delightful Jeannine and the elegant Muriel, not forgetting the farmer brothers, Jean-Yves et Pascale who help us so much when a strong arm, logs and tractors are required.

Garth and Liz, Jilly and Nick, they were all here bringing their culinary, constructional and sociable strengths to a fête conviviale never to be forgot by Sweetpea and her Captain Sensible.  It would have been fun to play the accordion or the piano or to sing or to dance but it just did not happen. Another time and event I am sure.

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE.  THANKYOU TO FRANCE.